7 Funny Wedding Toasts

Wedding toasts can be some of the most memorable parts of weddings. All the tension of the wedding is over. People have a drink in their hand, and they’re making merry. Ties are loosened, and laughter fills the room.

Let me level with you. It can be tough to give a toast. Some people just wing it, and give a toast off the top of their heads. But most people are far too conscientious to take such a flippant attitude toward this responsibility. Most want to do a good job. Well, I don’t have any good long toasts for you in this article, but I do have some funny lines you could work in.

If you want to give a 4 minute toast, you’ll want to find some resources to help you. But here are some thoughts to get you thinking in the matrimonial direction.

1. Marrying is all about just obtaining a piece of paper. Divorcing is just obtaining another ~Celeste Tan

2. Getting married for sex is like buying a meal for the free mint.

3. I haven’t spoken to my wife for 2 days — she doesn’t like me to interrupt her.

4. “Marriage is a matter of give and take, but so far I haven’t been able to find anybody who’ll take what I have to give.” -Cass Daley

5. If you see a man open the car door for his wife, it’s either a new car . . . or a new wife.

6. A groom told his bride that he would go through hell for her. How right he was.

7. “If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.” -Katharine Hepburn

Good luck with your wedding toast. We hope we took the edge off, and put a smile on your face.

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